...self reflection

From time to time, something or an event would strike me and make me realise how much I've changed. Have you ever had that moment? For me, it feels like there was a disassociation, like I was looking back in time to see myself. Much like a flash back on TV. Get where I'm going with this?

Anyway, I had another of those moment today. It dawns on me that I am very very impatient lately. I am putting it down to exam stress plus the crazy hospital hours that I have to put in, because of stupid attendance sheets, so close to exam.

I feel annoyed at an 18 year old girl for crying when I tried to put cannula in and wallowing in self pity when later on I need to take another syringe of blood from her. I feel like shaking her and say,"FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!". In my head, I wanted to say much more than that, but in consideration of the readers and my own self image, I shall reserve further comments. In reality, I put on the most motherly smile I could muster and said,"there there, just a little bit more. There you go.. It's only a little plastic tube. can't feel it anymore. there there."

Sigh... I hope it's just a phase. I hope I'll look back and be a more mature person. I think these self reflection moments are helpful. Or so I tell myself every time.